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Don’t Be A Square! (Unless You’re A Bathtub)

Dear Nerds, You know how everyone used to make fun of you and call you “Square”? Well, now that being a nerd has been trendy for years, you can just come out and be free and proud to be Square. And you know who else should be proud to be square? Bathtubs. Because what could be more glamorous than a rectangular bathtub (aside from a candlelit dinner with Jake Gyllenhaal where you both suck on the same piece of spaghetti until you accidentally kiss)? A new client wants a glamourous rectangular bathtub, so we’ve been seeking them out. Here’s a…

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Homme Sweet Homme | Jeramiah Brent

Dear Jeramiah Brent, This one time, it was the holidays (a time for too many parties), and I kept seeing this really Hot Blond Guy at all these glamourous fêtes. Then one day I was at the gym, running and watching “Rachel Zoe,” and I was like “Oh my god, Hot Blond Guy is the dude from Rachel Zoe!” Which is kind of the annoying part of living in Los Angeles. You see someone attractive and you’re like “Wow! That dude is hot!” and then you realize it’s, like, Orlando Bloom or Jake Gyllenhaal or something and you feel stupid. Anyway,…

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RIP : Hommegirl Helen Frankenthaler

Dear Judith Bernstock, You were one of my favorite Art History professors at Cornell. Mainly because until I took your class, all the art history I’d studied consisted of staring at Greek vases and memorizing their date and place of origin. Art history, while fascinating and necessary, can be totally boring. How many flashcards can one look at before he goes totally berserk? I have fond memories of  taking Art History 360: FDR to Reagan, where we got to study modern art. One key figure in this movement was an abstract expressionist named Helen Frankenthaler, who passed away yesterday. She…

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That One Time I Skated On Thin Ice and Almost Died

Dear Diary, There was some good news and some bad news this Christmas. The bad news was that there was no snow in Yosemite. The good news was that because there was no snow, the Tioga Road was open. The Tioga Road leads to the isolated Tuolumne Meadows section of the park, about an hour away from my parents’ house. This meant that for the first time in my life we got to go up and ice skate on Lake Tenaya, which is one of the most beautiful, serene places on earth. First things first: here’s what I wore. Purple…

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Cream Puffs: My Grandmother and The Best Dessert Ever

Dear Reader, Growing up, my favorite holiday story was “A Christmas Memory” by Truman Capote. Anyone who has read that book knows how sentimental, sad, and magical it is. A lot of holiday stories are tinted with a bit of melancholy, and I’m sorry to say that this story about cream puffs features a bit of sadness. But that’s just the nature of this time of year, when family, tradition, and memories are at the forefront of our minds. Like many families, the Sorias place a tremendous amount of importance and meaning onto food. Food is a strange thing, practical…

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D.I. Why? Recovering A Stool. Or Not.

Dear Diary, The other day, I was just reupholstering a stool, minding my own business, when something AWESOME happened. I will tell you the story now. It begins with an ugly stool. Well, it’s not really ugly but the fabric on top is UberCheezBallz. Emily and I found it at the flea market for $30. This is what the stool looked like: I had all my supplies out to reupholster, ready to change the fabric to a white linen. But then when I removed the ugly fabric I found a pretty chevron fabric underneath. Yay! Thus, I decided to just…

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What To Do With A Gingerbeard

Dear My Face, So, first of all, a disclaimer that this post is going to seem totally narcissistic. Why? Because it is. It’s just me talking about my dumb face. So to those of you who are on the fence about me and my stupid personality, I’d skip this post and go to the next. Ok, so is anyone still there? Are you there God, it’s me, Orlando’s Facial Hair. Anyhoo, I’m constantly obsessing about my facial hair because when I have it I go crazy because it’s so itchy but when I don’t I feel naked and way less cool….

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My So-Called Tree: Decorationtimez!

Dear My Christmas Tree, Remember that one year I was gone for most of December so I didn’t decorate you until, like, two days before Christmas? Yeah, me neither. This year I found inspiration from the tree Emily designed on the Secrets From A Stylist Holiday Episode (If you haven’t seen it yet you are really cheating yourself. Watch here). The color palette for the show was greens, blues, and aquas. Which happen to be my favorite colors (Coincidence? I don’ think so!). Luckily, you can put pretty much any color on a silver tree because it’s a neutral color….

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Hay Menorah!

Dear Daily Planner, Just a reminder that Hanukkah starts at sunset tonight. I’ll be celebrating with this uberglamourous manzanita-inspired menorah. I love it because it’s not only a beautiful way to celebrate the Festival of Lights, it’s also a beautiful candle holder to use year round. West Elm came out with this baby last year and it was love at first sight. Happy Hanukkah, everyone! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Love, Orlando

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I’m Dreaming of a Pink Christmas

Dear Bestie Alexis, Thanks for having me over last night for your glamourous holiday party. Your pink Christmas tree really caught my eye. When you first told me about having a pink tree, I thought it was going to be totally cheesy and crazy, but it turned out awesome. The color is so warm and inviting and adorable. And your glittery ornament collection (purchased mostly at Moskatels in Downtown LA) complements the candy color of the tree perfectly. OrMOMdo made a few of your ornaments too, which added a little handmade character to your beautiful tree. Well done! I also…

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Lazy Costuming In New York

Dear Self, You know, packing for long vacations has never been your strong suit. I hate to break it to you, but you suck. Usually, you fill your suitcase with 25 neon t-shirts, 12 pairs of ugly pants, and as much sockage and underwearage as you can cram in. This is all fine and dandy until you get to Hawaii and you realize that none of the clothing you brought actually goes together. Bright pink pants, bright pink shirt, and a horse bolo tie? Unacceptable. Thus, on this last business trip to New York, I forced you to choose one…

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Funtimez At the Gugg: Maurizio Cattelan

Dear Diary, The other day I was just wandering around New York when I came upon the Guggenheim Museum (which I like to call “The Gugg,” pronounced “goog”) and decided to head on inside and check out the Maurizio Cattelan exhibit I’ve been dying to see since I heard it existed. Cattelan is an artist who works mainly in sculpture, making totally weird, exciting, and disturbing pieces ranging from stuffed dogs to naked ladies popping out of the wall. His show at the Gugg was a huge retrospective and, like, kind of a big deal (meaning there were 5 million…

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Crafting With orMOMdo: Felt Ornaments

Dear My Mother, Some of my favorite memories of you come from the holiday season, when you turn from a normal mom to Martha-Stewart-On-Crack-Mom. I don’t think there’s been a holiday in my life where you haven’t stayed up until after midnight night after night ferociously writing Christmas cards, dipping centerpieces in gold, making wreathes out of branches you cut from the back yard, and wrapping presents in repurposed papers and fancy ribbon. This year, you’ve chosen to make these adorable little felt ornaments as gifts and I have to say I just love them. I’ve never met a penguin…

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Me And My Drum

Dear Cute Little Drum Emily and I Bought for a Client, We bought you for Rachna (one of our most delightful clients) but I had to bring you inside to keep you warm until we deliver you because you are SO adorable. I’ll miss you, Drum, but I know Rachna will give you a good home. And if she doesn’t just call me, and I’ll come pick you up. I’ll always be there for you. Love, Orlando

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My So-Called Christmas Tree

Dear Diary, You know, Christmastime is my very favorite time of the year. This year, however, Christmas has lasted approximately six months and it’s starting to feel less like Christmas, more like Crackmas. I’m totally OD’ing. First, it was the holiday episode of Secrets From A Stylist, which was filmed in Los Angeles in August. Needless to say I was sweating my face off in my festive sweaters. Then, it was the Holiday Guide, something Emily and our team put together to tell people what to buy for their friends (and us). And now finally it’s the actual holiday season….

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Purple Rain on Brooklyn

Dear New York, I’ve been visiting you for the past two weeks and I’m writing this as I hurtle through the air on wireless internet equipped plane. Whilst in New York, I stay briefly with my friends Matt and Brandon who live in Brooklyn Heights in the most adorable and amazing apartment in Brooklyn. They’ve done some decorating around the house recently, so I wanted to share their progress. Firstly, how cute are they?!? This is the original color of their entire apartment. I don’t understand why all landlords seem to think everyone wants to live in dingy “Swiss Coffee”…

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Art: David Benjamin Sherry

Dear Santa, Thanks for bringing Christmas early this year. You brought Emily and I the raddest clients ever and then one of those clients brought my attention to an amazing artist I didn’t know about. His name is David Benjamin Sherry and he makes photographs that represent the world as I see it (where everything is a highly saturated candy color, nature is king, and glamour is everywhere). The moment I knew I loved our new New York clients was when we walked into their living room and saw this: I grew up in Yosemite, so I love seeing images…

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Hi, High Line!

Dear Travel Journal, I’ve been swept away to world-famous New York City, where Emily and I are doing a totally glamorous lake house remodel. It’s been a busy trip, with less time for lollygagging and friend hugging than I expected, but I did find time to slip away and ogle the High Line. I used to live a block away from this glorious park so I’ve seen it a million times. But I hadn’t seen it since they added the section north of 21st Street, which is arguably even more stunning than the original section. Please enjoy these photographs I…

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Homme Video: Patrick Wolf ‘Together’

Dear Patrick Wolf, I love your new video for ‘Together.’ It’s my favorite song off your latest album “Lupercalia.’ This video is rural neon 90z awesomeness, complete with a crazy taxidermy wolf-scarf and pretty nature scenes. Me likey! [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZLJIRhWEHlE#!] Love, Orlando

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Hair: What to ‘Do???

Dear My Hair, Why do you bore me so? The haircut I have now is one I’ve had on and off since I was 16 years old. It’s totally fine. My friends and I like to call it the “Funboy” haircut. It’s the type of haircut you have when you have, like, no imagination. Thus, I’ve been pondering the following five haircuts, wondering which I could pull off. This one is awesome. If I had this haircut everyone would be scared of me and how cool I was. Which is pretty much my goal in life. I like this haircut,…

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The Worst Flea Market Experience in the History of Time!

Dear Emily, Remember last weekend when we went to the Long Beach Antique Market and it was, like, the worst experience of our whole lives? Well, it was raining, which was a bad sign, but we went anyway. As we were arriving (later than normal due to both of us oversleeping), all the vendors were rushing to put their stuff away, running away from us in terror like we were zombies coming for their flesh. For those of you who don’t live in Southern California, it should be noted that people here respond to rain as if it were the…

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Hollywood Diary: Katy Perry

Dear Diary, One time, my friend Johnny took me to see a Katy Perry concert. This is what Johnny looks like. Yes, he’s hot. Duh. Johnny is Katy Perry’s stylist. Which means he dresses her for events and often custom designs her wardrobe for music videos and public appearances. He also does a ton of other celebs like Nikki Minaj, Zooey Deschanel, and Rachel Bilson. And pretty much every other big name out there. He’s a huge deal, he’s super talented, and he’s super sweet. Johnny and I were talking about mustaches the other night and I’m digging this picture…

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