Dear Diary, I got this chair upholstered for a client. I had it covered in glamourous navy blue velvet and now I’m obsessed with it. The kind of obsessed where I want to wait outside its apartment to see if it walks out, just so I can ask it for its autograph. Would it be rude to steal it back from the client? Love, Orlando
Dear MJ Lanphier Interior Design, Thanks for commissioning this painting from me. It looks great in the dining room of this Chicago residence, flanked by two lovely chairs. Glamour. Love, Orlando
Dear Flags, You’re all over the place these days. I started obsessing when I saw this image from Design Sponge. Of course, the whole thing is reliant on how aged and full of history that flag is. This Ikea Malm Bed looks totally cool because it’s surrounded by that great flag and a bunch of other awesome stuff. This barn exists on Highway 41, outside my hometown of Yosemite Village, California. I’ve always been fascinated with it, even though it was probably painted by crazy xenophobes who run around accusing everyone of being terrorists. You know how sometimes you’re like “I want…
Dear Diary, Yesterday I donated my car to KPCC, my favorite radio station. This is quite an easy thing to do and I highly recommend it if you A) have a car to get rid of and B) care about supporting news that isn’t sensationalistic propaganda (i.e. most mainstream news). The car was still drivable but needed so many expensive repairs that keeping it no longer made sense. And because it needed so many repairs I worried about the karmic repercussions of selling it to an individual buyer. Thus, I found myself yesterday morning clearing the car of all my…
Dear Diary, Lately I’ve been working at home a lot. Sometimes I love working from home. I can drink coffee all day whilst listening to NPR and not wearing any pants. But sometimes it makes me feel like a crazy person. The late summer heat makes me feel restless and being alone all day with only Facebook chat and the crisp, clear voice of Lachshmi Singh to keep me company can totally isolating. Thus, I’ve decided to go back to my roots as a lunatic artist. I figure if I have to be alone all day I might as well…
Dear Homeowners, Do you ever find yourself staring at your boring white tile, wondering why you’re wasting your life on such blandness? Well, you should be. Adding a bit of hand painted glamour to a room is guaranteed to make you at least 16% happier. Just look at this boring white kitchen made fun with a pop of color in the tile over the stove. Also, that little boy is drinking whiskey, don’t tell anyone. Tile may not be the warmest, most inviting material to rest your feet on, but it sure is pretty to look at. If this were…
Dear Diary, Last week I wrote a blog post entitled Why The Gays Hate Their Bodies. Some people loved it, many people hated it, and what I learned was that everyone else is as sensitive about their bodies as I am. My reasoning for posting was threefold. I wanted to expose the conflicted feelings I have about my own body so that other people struggling with the same issues would feel less alone in their worries. I wanted to point out that there are specific factors to being a gay man that lead to us having a heightened self-consciousness about…
By Contributing Food Editor Jared Levan Dear Californians, As I’m sure many of you aware, you recently lost the right to purchase foie gras (since, approximately July 1st). While the ban was targeted specifically at the sale of the delicious end product that is foie gras, it was apparently so “broadly” written that it may also carry over to all skin, feather and other by-products that come from duck raised for foie gras production. So what’s the big deal? Well the reason that animal rights activists are so against the sale of foie gras is, not surprisingly, focused on the…
Dear Straight People, Every morning when I wake up, this is what I think I look like: Meanwhile, laying right next to me is my boyfriend. He looks like this: I know what you’re thinking. I’m lucky, right? I know. Not only does my model boyfriend look like a model, my friends look like this: I never sought out to have friends with such perfect bodies. Quite the contrary actually. As an FFK (Former Fat Kid) I’ve always identified as a fat person. But for some reason when I grew up all my friends became hot skinny people. This could…
By Contributing Food Editor Jared Levan Dear Julia Child, With this week marking what would have been your 100th birthday, I felt obliged to commemorate your life and your accomplishments. Before you were Julia Child, you were Julia McWilliams of Pasadena, California. It’s hard to believe, but you weren’t always passionate about food and cooking. You met your husband, Paul Child, and fell in love. You and Paul moved to Paris–unbeknownst to you, this relocation would change your life forever. While there, you fell in love again (this time with food). The passion and curiosity that blossomed led you to…
Curious what Emily and I are shopping for? Check out my post on stylebyemilyhenderson.com.
Dear My Non-Existent Shelves, Each day I when wake up, dewy-eyed and ready to start the day, the first thing I think to myself is, “Gee, I wish I had some shelves to put all these stacks of books in.” Sure, stacks of books make a home look inviting and lived-in, but shelving is glamour on a whole new level. These shelves look like something I would make if I had the skills. Rectangular and crazy looking (like my face). AND they double as stairs. (Double win). These shelves are pretty minimal and would be boring if it weren’t for…
Dear Gore Vidal, Few writers have touched my life the way you did. Your stories have enriched my life, haunted my memories, and were the lens through which I viewed my twenties. In 2003, my sister gave me a copy of your novel, The City and the Pillar, which is not only one of the very first novels to openly discuss complex gay characters, but is also the most heartwrenching work of fiction I have ever read. Equally captivating are your memoirs, Palimpsest and Point to Point Navigation. Through sharing your fascinating life story, you also shared your humanity. Your…
Dear Men of the World, Don’t you get sad sometimes that ladies get to wear all sorts of exciting jewelry and all we get to wear is watches and the occasional bow tie? Jewelry is fun, but there’s not a ton of it for dudes. One thing we can get away with is bracelets. Look how cool this guy looks, in part because he’s wearing those glamorous bracelets: Now, onto some bracelets I love, hate, and am ambivalent towards: Miansai, $95 at Mr. Porter Black and gold, the most luxurious combination in the history of time. Tods, $225 from Barney’s Co-Op…
Dear My Bed, I love you, but you need a headboard. Right now, you look like this: So depressing I may as well be in prison. Okay, so my bed has striped sheets, pillows, and a blanket on it. But it’s still missing something. It’s in desperate need of a headboard. And what better for a headboard than a giant piece of art? I love the idea of sleeping with a huge piece of art looming over my head. I mean, who wouldn’t want an enormous egg floating above the bed? This one is pretty and minimal, the white laundry…
Dear Diary, My baby niece is the world’s cutest baby. It’s been scientifically proven and I have many pictures as evidence if you don’t believe me. I went up north for her first birthday about a month ago and enjoyed a weekend of family, fun, and adventures in the Bay Area. I grew up calling San Francisco “the city,” we went there all the time. So whenever I go back it feels a little like going home. It feels so comfortable and familiar there. My brother, his wife, and the my adorable niece live in Sonoma County (about an hour…
Dear Hollywood Hills West, You’re a weird place. Kind of Hollywood. Kind of West Hollywood. Kind of Los Angeles. I moved into this part of town because I wanted to find a place as green as West Hollywood, but without all that appletini-scented-gay-gutter-bar-trash you find in the heart of WeHo (sorry, you know it’s true). Thus, I moved a neighborhood I thought was Hollywood. Only to find out months later that it was really called Hollywood Hills West. What attracted me to this place is that everything is so sprawling and mid-century. We have tons of eco-unfriendly lawns, palm trees…
Dear New MacBook Pro, You are so expensive and fragile. As someone who is also expensive and fragile, I know the feeling. We need special protection. We like to be wrapped in beautiful things that shelter us from the harsh world around us. This is why I am seeking the best laptop case in the world. I want something that is both stylish and allows me to throw my computer across the room without breaking it. Thus far, I have no case and have been clutching my computer to my chest as I navigate the cruel homosexual world that I…
Dear Matthew Zink, I’m a huge fan of your line of men’s and women’s swimwear. Not only are your pieces well-fitted and glamourous, they also come in a variety of colors that please my eyeballs. I seek out color in all aspects of my life, from the interior of my home, to the art I make, to the clothing I wear. Thus, I was delighted to find a collection of swimwear that so unabashedly incorporates color. Below is a selection of my favorite suits in the very best colors. Vintage Soccer Short, $75 I’m a sucker for pink swim trunks. Nothing…
Dear Normal Person, What do you like to do for your birthday? Do you like to eat spaghetti with your fiancé, simultaneously slurping on the same noodle until you eventually kiss? Do you like to go to Chuck E Cheese’s with a group of grown ups just to terrify the children and their parents? Do you like eat birthday cake, alone, in the closet? What do I like to do for my birthday, you ask? Well, I like to force my friends to paint my bedroom with me while we drink wine and talk about how a life without art…
