The Colors of Charlie

Dear Matthew Zink,

I’m a huge fan of your line of men’s and women’s swimwear. Not only are your pieces well-fitted and glamourous, they also come in a variety of colors that please my eyeballs. I seek out color in all aspects of my life, from the interior of my home, to the art I make, to the clothing I wear. Thus, I was delighted to find a collection of swimwear that so unabashedly incorporates color. Below is a selection of my favorite suits in the very best colors.

Vintage Soccer Short, $75

I’m a sucker for pink swim trunks. Nothing says “I’m the funnest thing at this pool party” better than Barbie pink. Speaking of Barbie, this model is a life-size Ken doll.

Trainer, $91

This color is called “Canopy” and reminds me of the luxurious color I used to upholster my sofa. Very pretty.

Trainer, $65

The only place you can get away with shorts this short is at Gay Beach. And if you don’t know where Gay Beach is, I worry for you.

Resort Short, $155

I’m into this cut for a swimsuit. It acknowledges the existence of the male thigh without exploiting it. Whatever that means.

Trainer, $91

This citron color is to die for.

Resort Short, $90

Again, love the sky blue. Especially when paired with those white shoes.

Trainer, $91

Orchid Pink. This color makes me so excited. I’m about to lose control and I think I like it.

Trainer, $91

Electric blue. To go with my eyes.

Lifeguard Brief, $50

Just when you thought he couldn’t look any more like Barbie, he went and put on this little number. I know a lot of people have reservations about dudes in Speedos, but I think if you can pull it off, why not? After all, who wants a lot of fabric weighing him down when he is swimming, trying to be free? You only live once.

Trainer, $91

That “Canopy” color again. If I were a shade of blue, I’d like to think I’d be that one.

Trainer, $65

This color is clearly the winner of the bunch because it’s so distinctive. You don’t see pink like this every day. You know what else you don’t see every day? Human-size Ken dolls running around in tiny neon swimsuits. And that is, like, such a shame.

Love,
Orlando