Hey House, I Want You!

Dear Diary,

I was browsing Sonoma County real estate the other day, as I often do, when I came across my dream home. It’s crazy, it’s asymmetrical, it’s made of redwood, it’s in the middle of the forest. It’s everything I want. It’s located in Healdsburg, California, which is an adorable town in wine country. And the price is right ($292,000 vs. neighboring properties for 6 million). It’s on 3.2 acres, has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and is on a road that my sister-in-law refers to as “the most beautiful road in Sonoma County.” Oh, and it’s a total piece of junk and it’s falling down and disgusting inside, which I guess is why it’s so cheap. But that’s the problem with being a designer. Instead of seeing the gross pile of rubble that stands before us, we hallucinate and see the fantasy house that could be. This happens to Emily and I a lot. We’ll show clients a totally disgusting sofa that needs to be reupholstered and completely remade and to us it looks totally beautiful because we’re seeing the final product. But to everyone else it just looks like a piece of junk fit for a hobo. That’s kind of what’s happening with this house. Everyone I show it to looks at me like I’m crazy, but I know I could make this house into something awesome. Here are some images of the house as is:

That sloping roof. Swoon.

The garage just needs a new door and for that basketball hoop to go away.

This is the living room. Total gut job. Needs new crisp white drywall and perhaps some kind of treatment on the ceiling (I’d do wood slats or something earthy). I’d also extend the windows to the ceiling. Why not, right?

I die for these mid-century California lines. Gimme!

Look at this deck. Oh, the glamorous Northern California parties that could be had out there. Dreams.

When I see the above dilapidated Sonoma County house, I am reminded of this glamorous project by William O’ Brien:

Angles + Light = Love

I think what I love so much is how dramatic the shape is. It warms my heart to imagine living in there.

In conclusion, if you’re sitting around wondering what to do with that extra $292,000 you have lying around, please buy me this house so I can make it into the glamorous woodland abode it deserves to be. In return you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that it wasn’t torn down to build a McMansion in the heart of one of California’s most desirable locales. Yay?

Love,
Orlando

17 thoughts on “Hey House, I Want You!

  1. Wow! That could be such a beauty! I have the same problem of fantasy potential… Everyone that knows me knows “I see potential in shit”. Sad, but true. Hope you get it and make it a beautiful retreat. I would rent it for a quiet weekend, for sure.

  2. I hope you get it. If not you then someone else who will restore it and will have a blissfull life there.

  3. This could be exciting and a great opportunity to have all of your blog followers up to the new place….YEAH!!

  4. If I had the $$ I would definitely buy you this place so it doesn’t get torn down and turned into a McMansion! Great find and please pray to all the deities you know that I win the lottery so both our dreams will come true 😉

  5. I LOVE Healdsburg. I get there twice a year. I’m gonna visit you in this awesome house. Or buy it from under ya!

  6. What a diamond in the rough…the state of it is very similar to what we bought and are still fixing up. I want it for you rullybad.

  7. My husband (who would leave me for YOU if he could) needs to get rich and buy you this house. Because I know you’re not the evil mistress type, you won’t want me homeless and you’ll invite me to move in. And in the end, we’ll all live happily ever after.

  8. Oh, wow, the ideas just start flowing when I look at those pictures! My first thought was to put in a fir slat ceiling, maybe skinny 2″ width. Why didn’t you post this 2 weeks earlier? We just went into contract on a 2nd house…I don’t think there are any funds left for this little project.

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