Much Ado About Sunglasses

Dear Celebrities,

Whenever I find myself wondering what to do, I always look to celebrities for advice. For example, I’ve been looking for new sunglasses lately and I can’t figure out what to buy. So I looked up pictures of fashionable celebrities and now I have a few ideas for sunglasses to purchase.

I have a complicated relationship with sunglasses. When I was in high school, I only wore fancy expensive sunglasses. But then I kept breaking/losing them so I decided to ban myself from buying any that cost more than $10. This has had an unexpected side effect that I no longer care if I lose my sunglasses. Which means I lose them on a daily basis. Thus, my new theory is that I need to invest in a real pair of sunglasses that I care enough about to keep an eye on.

Here is my namesake Orlando Bloom wearing some wayfarers. These wouldn’t look good on me because of my nose shape but they do look fetching on him.

Ray Ban, $200

Because I grew up in the woods and love the outdoorsy aesthetic, I’m into these wooden sunglasses from Schwood.  Sometimes I wish I lived in a world where everything was wooden.

Schwood, $135

Schwood, $175

I could never pull off these fancypants Tom Ford sunglasses, but Brad Pitt can.

Tom Ford, $425

Every time I drive my boat, I put on these Oliver Peoples sunglasses. Glamour.

Oliver Peoples, $390

Ryan Gosling looks great in these Persol sunnies. Gimme.

Persol, $360

This guy looks like an American Pyscho murderer, but the Ray Ban Clubmasters he’s wearing are great.

Ray Ban, $145

Oh Jake Gyllenhaal, how I yearn to trap you in a human size aquarium so that I could stare at you all day. Oh, and I love these classic shades. And your face.

Spitfire, $35

Robert Redford is the grand master of aviators (which coincidentally are on of the best frame styles for my nose shape).

Ray Ban, $140

Finally, a pair of sunglasses that I only want because I know I can’t have them. They’re limited edition wayfarers from a few years ago that are impossible to find (unless you want to pay $1500 for them on Ebay, which I don’t).

Ray Ban Limited Edition Wayfarer, One Million Dollars

I don’t know which way I’m leaning right now. Kind of between the Ray Ban aviators and those Oliver Peoples sunglasses. What I do know is that as soon as I spend $400 on sunglasses I’ll immediately sit on them whilst losing them in a cab, lending them to a friend who will never give them back, and having them accidentally fly off my face while I’m on a roller coaster. I can’t be trusted.

Love,
Orlando

11 thoughts on “Much Ado About Sunglasses”

  1. You are too funny. Here’s hoping you keep your next pair around for years and years.

  3. Go with the aviators for sure! I like them better, they’re way more reasonably priced, you will look hot in them and they’ll never go out of style. Those Persol shades are badass too.

  5. I love your blog. And I love Robert Redford. And, by the way, thank you for the pictures of Paul Newman a few posts ago … So, get the aviators. 1. they ALWAYS cool. 2. They are metal, so when you sit on them, you can bend them back 3. Don’t you feel sort of like you are being ripped off when you buy really expensive plastic sunglasses? I do. 4. You will look hot. Everyone does in aviators.

  6. i finally bought some real sunglasses and haven’t lost them yet. of course it hasn’t been summer yet. i even carry the case and little cloth around. pretty fancy. i got some of those fold up rayban wayfarers. i love them!

  8. I own wayfarers and aviators and I love them both. Aviators tend to look good on everyone. There’s a reason they’re a classic.

    I bought mine on eBay and saved about $80. I’ve got some tips for filtering out the knock-offs, email me if you want to hear them.

  10. Celebrities are great style icons. They always have the best and the newest. The key is to find a style you like, and find a more affordable version of that..

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